This is a stream of consciousness, feel free to take it or leave it. Nonetheless, I am a part of an online community created by Mahogany Pink and we oftentimes do film studies. We recently did a study of “Joy Luck Club” which deals with the relationships between a group of Chinese American daughters and their mothers and how this influenced their romantic relationships.
I remember going on a rant on Twitter a few years ago that got me dragged lol: “Why don’t some Black girls understand that women in media should be the best that the race has to offer? It’s literally showing the world the best you’ve got. This is universally known in every culture but with some Black women we are confused and want average…”
The way the term “femininity” has been reintroduced into the vocabulary of Black Women is very disingenuous.
I really had to write this post because since making this space, I’ve thrown out a range of statements about Black Men like “they look to White Men to gauge what is valuable” or “they look down on Black Women” or “they see White Women as a form of status” and when I came across this Drink Champs Kanye interview, I was just astonished because it embodied so many things I have alluded to in my previous posts.
The manosphere is not a Black thing and was actually created by White Men but as some say, when “the world gets a cough, Black people get the flu”. Especially in the West, our ties are very fragile and because of the economic element of this whole movement where its clear that men who are not able to be successful gravitate to these spaces. Knowing how disenfranchised some Black Men are, we know that this will affect Black Women in some way.
^ Although this article is not entirely spiritual, I’ve chosen this bible verse as the cornerstone of this post because in this passage Jesus is basically telling us to be “in” the world but not “of” the world and I think as Black Women, this is a very important thing to internalize and I will round out my thoughts coming back to this. I think this is a very important article to read/share because the Western BW has been so mentally and even spiritually attacked that what she see’s is possible for herself based on the narratives she’s internalized does not always align with what she could actually achieve.
WATCH VIDEO VERSION OF THIS ARTICLE: HERE
We’re aware of the saying “she’s got game” which is used to describe women who have success in dating and know how to seduce men. Basically, those women know what makes men insecure and use that to their benefit.
“Love isn’t enough in a world like this“
When speaking about the importance of marriage for BW, we must talk about hyp*rgamy. The reason I have put an asterisk in the word is because it is a word that should never be used publicly by BW even though it is so important to carry out.
I support those who forgo marriage because they have no interest in having children. Marriage is not for every woman but for the rest of us who desire children/commitment, I want to take this time to explain to you the importance of marriage. One of the biggest banes in our tribe as Black Women is having children with men who have not made us wives (at the wrong time, with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons).
Anyone who is an avid reader of my posts will know my views on relationships: having no racial preference, putting no race of man on a pedestal and engaging with whoever can enhance your life but almost as an outsider (since I don’t have a preference for Black Men), I can take the emotions out and see things that some Black Women won’t admit to themselves. A lot of people would think that we’ve been through a shared struggle/ history (as Black Men and Black Women) so we should have the strongest relationship but clearly that’s not the case.