I remember going on a rant on Twitter a few years ago that got me dragged lol: “Why don’t some Black girls understand that women in media should be the best that the race has to offer? It’s literally showing the world the best you’ve got. This is universally known in every culture but with some Black women we are confused and want average…”
I went on to say “I don’t want to turn on CNN and see women like Leslie Jones just because my neighbours look like her. I’m more empowered by seeing a woman like Gabrielle Union on TV and that representing us as Black women. Is that wrong? You guys don’t give a f*ck about representation for real. We always see obese Black women in the media or bald Sudanese models in magazines. What about slender Black girls? What about Caribbean, West African and Southern African models? Don’t they deserve representation? Why won’t you scream about that? The better your media, the easier it is for everyday women in your community!”
I remember that this thread almost went viral and mainly Black Women and gay men were dragging me. I think part of the dragging is because I mentioned Leslie Jones who was facing a lot of misogynoir at the time and so I think some felt like I was aligning with those people because before I mentioned her, the tweets were more positively received. However, the responses suggested to me that as Black Women, some of us have a long way to go…
Firstly, what became apparent to me was Black women’s obsession with White supremacy and what White people are doing. A common response I got was that “White women can look average” and “Most White women are basic in the media” but this is the reason I oftentimes use Asian women as a comparative in most of my talking points. I rarely compare Black women to White women because, as the world is now, we will never have the amount of leeway that White women have. We live in a White supremacist/ White worshipping world so of course more is expected of WOC than White women.
I think the biggest issue I see oftentimes in the media representation of Black Women is the lack of balance.
As you see in a show like Mad Men, there is a balance between the average-looking Peggy and the bombshell Marilyn-Monroe esque White Woman in the form of Joan. However, in the media, there is usually a token Black Woman who is usually average or made to look that way and placed amongst bombshell non-Black women like Lashana Lynch in the new James Bond movie (this is strategic):
Even amongst some Black Women, it appears that even the concept of beauty means White. Black people cannot demand symmetry or have a standard of their own. We are able to accept a wide variety of features from Asian or Hispanic women but with dark-skinned women even having something like a very small nose or just being very pretty means that some Black women will “other” you. (It’s very sad). I remember an unkempt Black girl on TikTok saying “these are the girls men like” highlighting a range of girls and then herself as someone who isn’t desired. She highlighted a range of average to above average Black girls with typical features but because they took care of themselves and were therefore pretty (we have a funny saying in my culture that “Beauty is in the store” lol), all of a sudden, those Black girls were othered.
I want to highlight to my readers very strongly here that every time you come across a pretty mono-racial Black woman and you describe her as having “Eurocentric features”, you are indirectly saying that Black women are not beautiful.
We are the original women and are able to possess all features. Have you ever seen a White woman with a wide or flat nose and with bigger lips that has been told she has “afrocentric features”? She’s just told she should be a model lol. The masses would never say that because they don’t want to give us all of that.
Even someone like Kim Kardashian or Kylie Jenner, it’s extremely hard for some to acknowledge that they emulate Black women in any way. No matter who they have kids with or if they wear extensions mimicking a texture only BW have, the masses still deny it because they don’t want to give us that power and acknowledge our influence but you, a Black Woman will see a stunning Black woman but because she has certain features, you will say she has a Eurocentric look, giving her beauty to Europeans. You have to look into what you’ve internalized because I don’t see a small nose and associate it with Europe. I think Europeans have some of the largest hook Roman noses. I associate a small nose with East Africans.
One thing that made me mad is that when I tweeted about my thoughts on representation, I had Black women who had Twitter avi’s of beautiful Korean idol singers while sharing their images all over social media, telling me that my desire for more beautiful monoracial Black women in the media was a problem (imagine!?). These women couldn’t even find Black women who meet their tastes to post on social media and for some reason, the colorism, featurism, and extreme beauty standards in a community like Korea are not enough to put them off but when it comes to Black women, it’s WW3.
^On the left is a Korean idol wearing hip pads which I hear is common practice because although many may not have an hourglass naturally, they know what is beautiful/feminine and try to present a beautiful image to the masses by any means. In the middle is the rare image of an overweight Asian model used on Instagram and on the right is the model Qizhen Gao.
Asians would NEVER promote or even use an image like the lady in the middle because they understand the importance of putting your best foot forward. Many Black girls adore their culture but if I suggest moving like them, it’s an issue. I even remember American Vogue coming under fire for using the Chinese model Qizhen Gao because many Chinese accused the magazine of being racist by using an “ugly” model and “uglifying” the Chinese race. I want to highlight this comment:
Now we can’t deny that some Asians struggle with embracing their features and rejecting white beauty standards, just like all POC based on some of their comments…:
BUT there is some truth in what she’s saying and it made me think. She and others want to show the world that there are different types of Asian beauty but the West usually will only show 1 type. They are lucky to have a functioning society that can churn out other images. As Black Women though, we don’t have that yet and in the media, especially in modeling, the West wants Black Women represented in the most masculine harsh way:
Even though when I walk out my house, most Black women look like those on the right, all we see are bald, extremely dark androgynous women and we are okay with that even though your “average” Black woman does not have that look. Even in my hometown in West Africa, they don’t look like that and that’s because one specific phenotype is being represented. Some Black Women do and that’s totally fine but can’t we show the world what else we have?
I remember coming across a controversial tweet after an overweight Black woman was used for an ad that said “To most Black women, the obese Black woman is their best foot forward. Most are insecure and not willing to do the work to better themselves so they would rather convince themselves that conventionally unattractive Black women should be the beauty standard for them all. I also believe equating femininity to White women plays a role since they’ve convinced themselves that being dainty, soft, thin, and attractive is seen as White and so the opposite must be Black.” I totally agree and have seen some comments that suggest to me that some Black Women feel threatened by the idea of extremely beautiful Black Women representing us because they think they’d have to measure up to that but they don’t understand how untrue this is.
Back to Asian Women because like I said, discussing White Women is a waste. I believe that Asian women (their society as a whole tbh) have curated an image that has improved the lives of everyday Asian women. The original image of the “beautiful oriental” is a Japanese woman. That’s the root of it, the pale skin, dark hair, soft and feminine disposition, the geisha, etc. This image is the root of Asian female desirability (in terms of imagery) but funnily enough Japanese society is somewhat closed and so they usually aren’t the women on the arms of foreign men.
But the women who are – the Filipino, Thai etc. women have benefited from that image even though they aren’t the Geisha or have Japanese mannerisms but because it is somewhat close, they still benefit… I’ll come back to this.
I want Black women to also understand that you can’t bombard people with certain imagery and think, that will make people find it attractive. Sometimes when we talk about imagery, we think the only focus is men – i.e., men like this so let’s only push that image but that’s not it. On shows like Love Island, usually, the more conventionally attractive Black girl will do well over the more average-looking one. Looking at this from the perspective of Black women who watch these shows, I don’t think they benefit from or feel good about women who look like them not receiving attention or doing well on these shows. Putting average Black women amongst above-average women of other races is not going to do anything for us nor does it make people find “average” Black women more attractive. Maybe young black female viewers would feel better about a Black girl who may not have their exact features doing well than a Black girl they look more alike not doing well. Love Island rarely has Asian contestants but I remember a Eurasian girl with a Chinese father who was white passing and she was doing fine on the show and I recall an Asian girl on Twitter who had a typical Filipina phenotype saying “Asian girls representing”. Even though this was a white-passing female, she still felt good that this girl was picked on the show and we don’t understand this that in media, it’s more about what is received well.
As I’ve detailed, we know desirability is different for BW but I even realized that when I say something like “us having counterparts known to have the largest penises puts some men off dating us, and women with counterparts stripped of their masculinity are more popular”, because of our poor imagery, it’s hard for some BW to see that even though it’s quite clear and if we have more beautiful Black Women in the media and on these shows, it would be obvious that something else is at play impacting our “desirability” which would free BW of the shackles of thinking their hair, skin, etc. makes them less desired.
I’ve even seen think pieces where Black people are insinuating that we only like straight white teeth because of White people and it confuses me. Personal hygiene, makeup, adornment, etc. all began in Africa where women used clay and water mixtures to make their own lipsticks. Trying to put forward a nice image is not rooted in Whiteness!
We’re also not like other races where we only want to show you what we have, we have to correct what is out there because for decades there has been an attack on our image. How can we start from average when we haven’t even showcased the best? When it comes to the idealized world of media, you need to start with the 26-inch waist before we start showcasing obesity. Some Black women don’t even understand that this isn’t a trivial matter. Some of my followers pointed out a correlation between how we’re portrayed on TV as the “Strong Black Woman”/ warriors and in magazines looking harsh with how we’re treated by medical staff with some admitting that they believe Black women feel less pain than other races of women. This is a problem and our media contributes to it.
With this growing Korean wave, is there anything clearer about how media can change perception than looking at Asian men? We know that there has been a concerted effort to strip these men of their masculinity yet today, women are flying to Asia looking for husbands…
These women obsess over male Korean idols and Japanese actors and are enamored by the handsome imagery but do your average Korean boys look like idols? Hell no but because it’s close, it will do for them.
I want Black women to understand that (excuse my emphasis on dating but it’s clearer this way) there’s probably a man out there who saw a Beyonce video and thought she was so beautiful and ended up with a dark-skinned Black woman just because it’s close. I even remember Zac Efron saying that he used to have a picture of Tyra Banks on his wall and so it was not a surprise to me that he dated the bi-racial Sami Miro.
Some of you will say, we do not have a machine like “Korea” or men who see the benefit of pushing a positive image (they seem interested in quite the opposite tbh) but looking back at Black media, in the ’50s, the paper bag test was in full effect, as Nina Simone said, she was never on the cover of Ebony or Jet because they want women who were “light and bright.”
It was very rare to see a dark-skinned cover girl during this era but this changed in the 90s. Some have even suggested that Black women’s attempt to portray a better image back in the day didn’t work so why try now *rolls eyes* but how can this be, considering how limited our media was back in the day as dark-skinned women (mammy, prostitute or maid)?
So clearly, we are not completely powerless (although this is how we are brainwashed to feel and I recall a White man who may have had questionable motives lol suggesting what message did seeing George Floyd on tv every night being treated like an animal, send out to black people? That we are victims and have no power).
As Black people, I feel like we oftentimes complain about the systems in place but you’re either going to build your own system or adapt. Change can occur. This starts at a small level, ensuring that every image/video you share/highlight/view/support only shows BW in a positive light and if it doesn’t then boycott it/ don’t share it/ report it, etc. Moving forward as we become casting directors, model scouts, journalists, etc, whatever field we are in, to understand that the focus when discussing media representation shouldn’t be a desire for what is common or average but should be what is the “best” and will be well received which will positively impact us all.
OTN
One thought on “I Only Like Pretty Black Girls?”
BW should know that in order to gain proper entrance into society we have to turn out our best. People have to think of us in the best light even though the majority of us is not that. Do you see how excited everyone gets when they talk about latina women or middle eastern women? The assume extreme beauty when that is not true.