I’ve alluded to this topic before but I’ve been thinking about empathy and how that shows up in Black people.
I came across a post highlighting the genocide happening in Congo and there was a comment by a Black African man saying how everyone is focused on Palestine and of course, this caused a lot of back and forth. At one point a lady suggested that no one cares about Black issues but we care about everyone’s issues. A Black American woman responded to this comment with something along the lines of, ‘It shows how empathetic Black people are that we care about wrongdoing no matter where or who it’s happening to”.
Now when I looked into this statement, it’s evident that as Black people we think that we are morally superior and are very empathetic people; therefore, we are compassionate, and kind and can put ourselves in the shoes of others but this isn’t true… Your average Black person does not care about what’s happening to the Black people in Congo or the Black people in Sudan. Your average Black man will kill another Black man without a second thought because of envy. Many Black Women will sit on a forum all day to dig up dirt on another woman and hate to see another Black woman living better than them because it challenges their victim narrative. If we look at our community as a whole, do we look like people who respond with sensitivity to each other’s emotions and will do anything to engender a harmonious environment? Lol hell no, we cause a lot of harm to one another but somehow, we are always on the frontline screaming about what is right.
(Just to insert here, I am African and in part, I think xenophobia plays a part in why Western Black people could not care less about what happens to Africans because as I always highlight we see one another through a White supremacist lens and many have this view that such communities do not like them and therefore return the favour but we see that although non-black communities are anti-Black they have no issue speaking up for those communities but we’ll get to that …)
There must be something else at play that forces many Black people to want to talk about Palestine or discrimination against Asians etc. because we do not show empathy to our fellow brothers and sisters. It’s become very evident to me that Black people are extremely desperate for validation from non-Black communities; let’s just be honest. Understand that when a Black girl wants to highlight Asian American racism, it’s not that she’s so moved by their plight but she wants members of this community to see her in a positive light. What’s sad is that such behaviour doesn’t get your respect because your position in society doesn’t improve, the world just views you as a mule that they can use and discard.
Is it not fascinating that not a single Arab country took Israel to court, but South Africa felt compelled? We are desperate for society to view us positively but by default of being black, they do not (the only way you are respected is from development and becoming a power player on the global stage). Other races deep down have greater self-esteem and so will not compromise their position for validation from others. It’s just interesting to see how our low self-esteem plays out and we hide behind being empathetic. Maybe if we could try to be more empathetic towards those who look like us, we’d see positive changes.
Do I have to tell Black people to prioritise themselves and their tribe? Is that wrong when that is what everyone is doing? How can you win by playing a different game from what everyone else is playing? My question to every Black person is to ask yourself, why do you have more empathy for people who don’t look like you? I think all of us should undertake some self-reflection and do the work to break the pattern of seeking validation from other races.
OTN
5 thoughts on “I lied, Black people are not Empathetic”
I agree. As a western black woman I have heard other black Americans say xenophobic things about Africans. Black people will be quick to throw ourselves on the frontlines and fight against the issues of other races, but have little to say when it comes to the issues within our communities.
I think you’re definitely right when you say Black people are the most desperate to be validated and accepted by other races. I still remember about 2 years back there was a video of a black highschool girl fighting a white girl. The reason why they were fighting? Because the black girl was coming to the defense of an Arab girl that the white girl was bullying. Meanwhile the Arab girl was just sitting there letting them fight, not saying a word. And you know what? In the end, the black girl was the one who got expelled, not the white girl.
See, the black girl flushed her education down the drain to involve herself in a situation that had nothing to do with her and for a girl that honestly could’ve defended herself. Nobody else was joining in or trying to break up the fight. There were black women in the comments saying the black girl should’ve stayed out of it, but they were getting a lot of pushback from non-black people and even other black people. What made me upset was some people calling the women “cruel” for not wanting to be everyone’s savior and even blatantly lying with stuff like “if the black girl was the one being bullied people would defend her.” We know that is not true at all. I doubt the Arab girl cared about this random black girl who jumped to her defense and the Arab community as a whole probably cared even less so.
This situation revealed to me that a lot of non-black people expect black women to be their attack dogs or saviors, so when we say “no” they’re shocked and angry. Even black women are so accustomed to being everyone’s savior that they get mad other black women who doesn’t want to involve themselves in every single issue.
There’s nothing wrong with telling black people to prioritize ourselves and our tribe. Everyone else does it, but we get called “cruel” for doing it.
Black people globally have bought into antiblackness. As a Black Muslim I have fallen out with my own group of friends who would rather boycott and march for Palestine but have nothing to say about Congo despite there being more Muslims in Congo than there are in most Arab nations especially Palestine. I was called hateful while these girls are still talking about buying the latest IPHONE despite knowing how APPLE is the largest contributor to the genocide. There is no hope collectively for Black enlightenment . Black people will always center non blacks, always empathize more with non Blacks, alway s mule for non-Blacks. The way Black people as a group function is so contradictory to any organism that wants to survive.
I have grown very disillusioned with Abrahamic religions as a whole. God cannot like Black people when every single one of these religions is quite literally steeped in a long and violent history of antiblackness. I have always thought religion was to Black people what it is to women, a means to neuter, to confuse and to mentally colonize. Black people of all faiths seem to preach empathy, kindness and forgiveness when it comes to the harm nonblacks do to use and yet seem to ignore how nonblacks never follow these teachings when it comes time to harm our people.
Sorry for the rant I’ve just been slowly losing my grip ever since this conflict started seeing the blatant anti-blackness from non-Blacks (Muslim and Muslims alike) who have so much anger towards Black people than they do white westerners or even Arab leaders who are actively harming them.
Glad to see another entry – welcome back! I completely agree. Black people have such a toxic non-reciprocal relationship with non-blackness. Black people are constantly showing the world how much we hate ourselves.
-Allowing multiracial women to become the face of blackness.
-Giving cookout passes
-Allowing others to appropriate and steal our culture
-Refusing to gatekeep
-Not sticking together, especially in the workplace
-Not staying on code
-Adopting non-black aesthetics (I can’t stand this 50″ foreign womens lace front hair trend – we have so many beautiful hairstyles that are unique to our culture, why aren’t we wearing them?)
-Killing each other over the pettiest things but allowing non-black people who kill black people to walk free (George Zimmerman, Darren Wilson, and so many others)
-Muling for other races’ issues and causes when they are mute when it comes to supporting us
-Allowing non-black people to set up businesses in our neighborhoods
-Being super picky and demanding when it comes to black businesses yet supporting racist non-black ones
-Begging for non-black acceptance and complaining when we don’t win their awards or see ourselves represented in their productions – why can’t we celebrate and uplift ourselves?
Black liberation will never happen because non-black people know how easy it is to divide us. We have got to stop being so overly impressed by non-blackness. It starts with black people having a collective sense of self-worth and until that happens we will continue to struggle.
Can you tell is what major projects you have coming up?
There was recently a situation on Twitter where a Sudanese woman called out Palestine activists on their antiblack biases and it really was an eye opener seeing the way EVERYONE threw black prople (under the guise of criticizing “western self centeredness” as though antiblackness is a western issue and non westerns can’t understand antiblackness being wrong) under the bus. Even fellow black people saying that it’s not the time to talk about antiblackness and that we are stupid if we think Palestinians even have the power to oppress us. I’ve been vocal about the situation on the small social media I have and I can’t just turn off my desire for the children to be safe and free but this situation along with you putting more stuff into context is all giving me a lot to think about and reevaluate.